New York City was just going into lockdown in March of 2020, as I was returning from Sri Lanka. I saw a few of the people who had already scheduled appointments in advance of my return, packed up my belongings and the headed to the Wichita Mountains to go on a vision quest, a traditional Native American healing practice that involves fasting alone in the mountains for four days and nights without food or water.

For years, I had been teaching classes on a weekly basis, doing one-on-on in-person individual sessions, or commuting every other week between New York City and Boston. All of that came screeching to a halt and life as I knew it ceased to exist.

All of a sudden, I found myself isolated with all this additional time on my hands and I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do with myself. I didn't want to waste time sitting around scrolling through endless news and social media updates or binging on Netflix. I felt the need to be doing something productive, so I began to devote more time to writing.

I started to develop my own system of intensive meditation practices in my mid-twenties. I had been doing at least an hour of solo meditation practice a day for quite some time. And I would do additional practice whenever I guided other people through the meditations during group and individual sessions. Now, with all this additional time on my hands, I decided to increase my daily meditation practice to three hours.

Self-awareness

We all get caught up in the dramas playing out in our lives, in many instances reacting to people and circumstances. Often, we respond or act without fully comprehending the motivations behind our words and actions. As I meditated for extended periods, I began to recognize the patterns in my behavior that I had been enacting in my relationships. I could sense the underlying emotional forces that had long driven many of my actions.

Digital technology

Smartphones, other devices, social media, news updates, and other digital media are purposefully designed to trigger our brain's reward system by precipitating the release of dopamine. This is rewiring of our brains in a way that is making it extraordinarily difficult for us to focus. With our attention fractured, we're losing the capacity for deep introspection. Consequently, many are finding meditation even more challenging. We feel antsy, our minds wander, and we're compelled to either get up and do something or consume more digital content.

Sitting in meditation for extended periods can be challenging. Whenever I felt restless, I would dive even deeper into the feelings and sensations of internal resistance. Over time, I could sense myself moving through layers or thresholds of consciousness. The longer I meditated, the more of these thresholds I crossed, opening up to greater levels of awareness.

You will sometimes experience internal resistance as you extend your meditation practice. Breathe softly and deeply, fully immersing your awareness in the depths of any feelings or bodily sensations of resistance. Teaching yourself to move through these layers of resistance will deepen your connection and engage your body and mind's innate healing intelligence.

Freeing yourself from limiting holding patterns

We're all faced with challenges in our relationships, whether with family, friends, coworkers, or others who play a part in our lives. We often misunderstand each other, leading to disagreements. At times, we experience emotions like disappointment, hurt, sadness, anger, and resentment.

The intimate nature of romantic bonds can elicit deeper and more intense emotions. Some of us try to hold on to potential love interests or partners in our attempt to make a relationship work. We're left feeling hurt, anxious, and confused by their words and actions. We become emotionally strung out, and in some instances, devastated by their betrayal or infidelity. The grief and sadness we feel when a relationship comes to an end can leave us feeling overwhelmed.

The emotions that remain trapped within our bodies create and then reinforce holding patterns. These emotions cloud our perception of relationships and situations, hindering our ability to resolve conflicts and devise workable solutions. They compel us to hold on to love interests who don't reciprocate our feelings, or partners who are not good for us and to remain in unhealthy relationships.

Emotions held within our bodies and the thought processes attached to them which operate largely outside of our conscious awareness are the driving force behind so many of our behaviors. When we're cut off from these emotions, it prevents us from coming up with workable solutions and letting go of what's not working in our lives.

The innate healing intelligence within your body and mind initiates a process of growth and healing the longer you sit with these emotions, descending ever deeper into their depths. You become more aware of the relational dynamics and the patterns you've been enacting. You can feel the holding patterns dissolving, which will allow you to let go and move on.

As you establish a new foundation and engage in healthier ways, your relationships naturally evolve. You find yourself both attracting and being drawn to companions with whom you resonate.

Should I do my practice all at one time?

Having had the opportunity to train with Shifu Li Tai Liang in Xin Yi Quan, Baguazhang, Tai Chi and Chi Gong, I have long been inspired by those who attained mastery the ancient traditions. It was common for them to do hours of intensive daily practice. Many of these individuals possessed extraordinarily powerful gifts and capabilities.

The longest I've sat continuously is three hours. On several occasions, I've meditated for five hours in a day. Naturally, I had to take breaks, especially to use the restroom. The most I've meditated in a single day is six hours.

People often ask me if they should complete their meditation practice in one go. I've found that my own meditations tend to be more powerful when I sit for extended periods without interruption. If possible, do your practice all at once; if not, feel free to break it up. The primary objective is to get in as much practice as you can.

Oscillation

Our bodies hold onto the stresses of daily life and the emotional responses we haven't processed. This can leave us feeling constricted mentally, emotionally, and physically. As we continue to sit with these emotions, they undergo a sort of digestive process. As these emotions soften and begin to dissolve, it can sometimes feel like vapor coming out of our body.

As you descend into deeper levels, the innate healing intelligence of your body and mind takes over. It's challenging to capture in words, but the body spontaneously begins to breathe itself. The inhalations and exhalations become much fuller and freer, drawing in significantly more oxygen. At times, it can feel as though you're truly breathing for the first time in your life. Occasionally, you will sigh or have a profound exhalation as your body releases stresses and emotions that it had been forced to hold on to.

When I'm able to sit for extended periods of time, I find that the feelings and bodily sensations intensify and become more vivid. I sometimes experience a very distinct, palpable sensation… it feels as though the molecules comprising my body are spreading apart. As that happens, I feel as though my entire body is oscillating.

How to do the practice

I usually encourage people to sit up during this practice, but you can lie down if necessary. If you choose to sit, find the most comfortable position, whether on the floor or in a chair. Close your eyes and begin to breathe as softly and deeply as you can without forcing it. If possible, breathe all the way down to your abdomen, allowing your rib cage to expand. Breathe so softly and slowly that you can't even hear it. Then, feel yourself descending progressively deeper into your body's feelings and sensations.

Activation

If you're struggling with difficult life circumstances, relational drama, or facing a health crisis, and are committed to healing your body and mind, then dive as deeply as you can into your body and all its feelings and sensations. By extending your practice and descending deeper into these feelings and sensations, you'll engage your body and mind's innate healing intelligence to a greater extent. This will better enable you to process your life experiences and subsequent emotional responses more thoroughly, allowing you to progress at a much faster pace.

You'll also be activating the same healing intelligence that facilitates healing when you get a cut or bruise. This intelligence can effect even greater healing as we learn to activate it.

What happens if when people don't practice

One of the biggest challenges I face when working with people is getting them to practice consistently. While most individuals will engage in the practice when I'm present with them, many are not doing their homework. Or they practice intermittently, often for just ten or fifteen minutes at a time.

The problem is that many people's bodies are holding enormous amounts of stress, a backlog of unprocessed emotions, and accumulated physical toxins resulting from poor diet, caffeine, smoking, alcohol, recreational drug use, and pharmaceuticals. This combination of stress, stagnant emotions, and physical toxins can leave individuals feeling very numbed and disconnected. Many health-related issues are direct manifestations of stress and emotional distress. Bodies with so much stagnation and armoring are less responsive to healing.

The choice is yours. If you're determined to do whatever it takes to heal and evolve, then take the time, find a space, sit down, and deeply connect with your feelings and sensations.

Making use of the most effective practices and interventions

Meditation apps have gained in popularity over the years. These apps provide a wide array of guided meditations. Guided meditations can be likened to the bikes with training wheels that we rode as children. Unfortunately, many individuals today never remove these training wheels. Most guided meditations are designed to fit into people's busy schedules and accommodate their limited attention spans. The primary drawback of relying on guided meditations is that they often only induce very superficial levels of relaxation.

When we're stressed out, even just ten to twenty minutes of meditation can take the edge off. In my own practice, I notice a progressive deepening: at twenty minutes, I feel a certain depth; by forty minutes, it's deeper still; at one hour, the sensation intensifies; and by ninety minutes to two hours, I find myself descending into even greater depths of feeling and sensation. The power of the meditation amplifies remarkably with time.

If we're dealing with health-related issues such as digestive or respiratory disorders, heart disease, stroke, or cancer, it's critically important for us to extend our meditation practice. This allows us to reach the depth necessary to activate the innate healing intelligence of our body and mind.

Having trained with a traditional Native American doctor (medicine man) I act as a conduit by allowing an extraordinarily powerful presence to work through me to facilitate healing within the body and mind. As I get people to sit for longer periods of time, breathing deeply into their feelings and bodily sensations, their bodies take on a more fluid quality and become far more malleable. That makes them more responsive to the main part of the work we do on the table.

They enter a dreamlike state where they “digest” their life experiences and emotional responses at a much deeper level. The wounded parts of the self heal, dysfunctional patterns are transformed, and unhealthy attachments dissolve. They experience a growing sense of freedom and develop the resources necessary to realize their true potential and fulfill their life's purpose. Additionally, their physical bodies become increasingly receptive to healing.

©Copyright 2023 Ben Oofana. All Rights Reserved.

When you’re ready, I have 3 ways I can help you to heal your heartache and attract more love into your life and cocreate more meaningful and deeply fulfilling relationships.
1. Click here to grab your free copy of my eBook – The Essentials Of Getting Over Your Breakup And Moving On
2. Watch the master class Three Reasons Your Relationships Are Not Working …And What You Can Do About It.
3. Work with me individually Are you in the midst of a breakup, struggling with patterns of abandonment or unrequited love, or facing challenges in your current relationship and would like to work directly with me, email me at ben@benoofana.com. For faster response, call me at (332) 333-5155.