One only needs to look around, or even in the mirror, to see that people often aren't all that present. Issues requiring our attention are often overlooked or outright avoided. When unsure of how to handle our emotions, we are more likely to suppress our feelings.

We spend enormous amounts of time escaping into social media, television, gaming, drugs, religion, and other distractions. Despite the advantages of face-to-face conversations or phone calls, many of us prefer texting. Multitasking further fractures our attention. How is this? Even when we do engage, we often fail to devote sufficient attention to the person we're conversing with, or the message being conveyed. All these behaviors underscore a pervasive disconnect within ourselves, others and in modern society.

Determination to become more fully embodied

People used to tell me that I wasn't fully inhabiting my body. It was evident that I was very ungrounded. I experienced a great deal of numbing and disconnection and lacked self-awareness and many other essential resources. My dissociation was partly due to the traumas suffered during my childhood and adolescence, and other adverse early formative experiences.

But my desire and determination to become more fully embodied compelled me to engage with people and put myself in all kinds of challenging situations that forced me to expand my coping capacity and develop other much needed resources. I also developed an extensive system of meditation practices that helped me to heal, transform and integrate the various aspects of myself and become more present in my body.

My process of embodiment was greatly accelerated as I made use of therapeutic interventions such as deep tissue bodywork and the sessions I did with gifted healers. The vision quest, a traditional Native American healing practice that involves fasting alone in the mountains without food or water for four days and nights, made the greatest impact.

As I became more fully present, I couldn't help but notice how disconnected other people were from their own emotions, physical bodies, the core of their being and the world around them. Having spent years training with a traditional Native American medicine man, I serve as a conduit, allowing an extraordinarily powerful presence to work through me. The individual sessions I facilitate assist others in becoming more fully embodied and in developing the necessary resources and capabilities to actualize their full potential.

Presence in degrees

There's a lot of discussion about being fully present. However, based on my observations, I find this notion somewhat misleading, as I've noticed that no one is ever entirely present. Presence occurs in degrees, deepening as we immerse ourselves more fully in our senses, focus with greater intent, engage more intimately in our interactions, and increase our active participation. While it may sound a bit awkward, I prefer to discuss the concept as ‘showing up more fully present' to ensure a more accurate portrayal of this nuanced process.

Ancient spiritual traditions in China, among the Native Americans, and in various other cultures worldwide, taught that presence could also be increased through intensive practices and interventions that draw more of our soul into the body. In China, martial artists who attained mastery in systems such as Xin Yi Quan, Baguazhang, Tai Chi and Chi Gong that have their roots in Taoism commonly spent their entire lifetime doing hours of intensive daily practice to continually increase their presence and power.

The problem with only focusing on the present moment

Some interpretations of mindfulness teachings tell us that we shouldn't allow ourselves to be distracted by anything outside of the present moment. They say we shouldn't dwell on the past or worry about the future; instead, our focus should be on the now. However, what's happening in the present moment will at times elicit feelings, memories and sensory impressions pertaining to people, situations, or issues from your past that continue to trigger you emotionally.

Focusing solely on the here and now, to the exclusion of everything else, can inadvertently become another means of disconnecting from your authentic emotional responses. When you find yourself being triggered, it's important for you to acknowledge your feelings, memories and other sensory impressions. Allow these feelings, memories and sensory impressions to surface and breathe into them. Thoroughly digesting the charged emotions and impressions you carry from the past will bring more of you into the present.

Becoming soul incarnate

Some mindfulness teachings suggest that you should observe your feelings from a detached state, viewing them as transient visitors passing through the landscape of your mind. This approach involves acknowledging your emotions without judgment, refraining from attaching stories or reactions to them, and simply witnessing them as they rise and fall.

The journey of becoming more embodied involves more than mere observation. It requires us to not only pay attention to our perceptions but also to deeply experience our body through a full range of senses, both on the surface and within its inner depths. This intimacy isn't characterized by intellectual distance or elevated states of consciousness; instead, it is about allowing our awareness to merge with the full range of feeling and sensations directly.

Truly sensing our body evolves into an art form where compassion, patience, and an explorative spirit coexist harmoniously. In this space, we encourage our spirit to become more fully embodied. As our spirit merges with flesh, we become soul incarnate.

What does it mean to show up more fully present

Learning to become more fully present involves cultivating an active, open, and immersive state of attention and engagement. In this state, we intentionally heighten our awareness to perceive more of our immediate environment. This isn't a passive process, but an active endeavor to open ourselves more fully with the world around us. This means engaging our senses to their fullest capacity—seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, and tasting the world around us. By consciously opening to our sense perceptions of our surroundings, actions, thoughts, emotions, and physical self, we can experience life more profoundly.

Showing up more fully present is an ongoing process that extends to every aspect of our lives. It involves actively engaging with our environment and the people around us. We listen attentively, observe keenly, and participate with all the presence we can bring to the moment. This enriches our experiences and deepens our relationships, while improving focus, self-awareness, and emotional management.

As we become more fully present, we actively engage in conversations and activities, responding thoughtfully and contributing meaningfully. We remain connected to our physical bodies and authentic emotional responses, noticing physical sensations, and maintaining our health and well-being.

Acknowledging and processing our emotional responses is a crucial part of being present. Instead of suppressing our emotions or allowing them to take over us, we identify what we're feeling, digest our emotional responses, and gain understanding from them. The clarity and momentum we gain guides us toward the best course of action.

Increasing our presence encourages open-mindedness, enhances our adaptability, and deepens our capacity for empathy. We recognize and accept what cannot be changed, while striving to effect meaningful change when possible. We cultivate understanding towards others by intuiting their challenges and responding with kindness and compassion.

The lack of presence and its manifestations

Our lack of presence often stems from past experiences of pain, disappointment, or trauma that we haven't fully processed. These past experiences can make us anxious or fearful of similar occurrences in the future, and this fear can cause us to withdraw, to numb ourselves, or to build emotional walls that limit our capacity to fully engage with our lives.

We may or may not be all that conscious of our lack of presence. And yet, the lack of presence in our lives, bodies, and emotions manifests in numerous ways and has a wide range of damaging consequences. Here are just a few of many examples:

One of the most common ways we disconnect is by suppressing our emotions. We're more likely to avoid or numb ourselves to feelings that surface in response to stressful, upsetting and traumatic events in our lives. Over time, these unprocessed emotions can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and even health-related issues, such as heart disease.

Some of us disconnect from our bodies due to societal pressures or personal insecurities. We ignore physical signs of stress, like headaches, fatigue, or stomachaches, which can lead to serious health complications if not addressed. We may also neglect physical activity and proper nutrition, leading to obesity or diabetes.

In our current digital age, it's so easy for us to immerse ourselves in television, social media, or video games to escape from boredom and the realities of our daily lives. This lack of presence in our actual lives often leads to social isolation, reducing our opportunities for personal growth and genuine connection with others.

When we're not present in our relationships, we often fail to notice or respond to the feelings and needs of our partners, friends, or family members. When we're physically present but mentally elsewhere, our interactions are not as meaningful. Our lack of presence not only strains our relationships but also contributes to our feelings of loneliness and hinders our ability to build a supportive network of friends and family.

Being present in the here and now can be challenging when our work consumes so much of our time and attention that our lives revolve around it. The danger of falling into a pattern of workaholism is that we may end up neglecting our physical health, relationships, and passions. Our inability to enjoy the present moment can make us more prone to anxiety, dissatisfaction, and burnout.

Using alcohol and other drugs to escape from the realities of our daily lives and our authentic emotional responses is another form of disconnection. Dependence on these substances can lead to addiction, health problems, damaged relationships, and even legal troubles.

In all of these examples, we're failing to live in the present moment. We're also avoiding our authentic selves, our emotions, and the realities of our lives. By not addressing these issues, we're causing enormous harm to our physical and mental health, thereby diminishing the overall quality of our lives. Cultivating mindful awareness and making a concerted effort to become more fully present counteracts our habitual patterns of disconnection.

Disconnecting from our emotions

Emotional suppression, a longstanding cultural norm, remains prevalent in our fast-paced, productivity-driven society. Many people regard their emotions as a sign of weakness or obstacles to achievement, considering them distractions that should be managed or silenced.

Emotions play an integral role in our overall experience of life. They are our body's immediate response to our thoughts, interactions, and various situations we encounter daily. They are signals and messages about our current state and how we relate to the world around us.

Many of us have developed a pattern of suppressing, avoiding, or distracting ourselves from our emotions. Whether out of fear, discomfort, or lack of understanding, we often shy away from fully experiencing our emotional selves. This results in a disconnect from our feelings, physical bodies, and the realities of our everyday lives. Consequently, we become less present and less engaged in our experiences, leading to an impaired ability to connect genuinely with others and ourselves.

When we're suppressing our emotions, we're essentially ignoring our body's natural responses. Emotions are a part of our biological makeup and are meant to be felt and expressed. By suppressing them, we're denying a part of our human nature. This suppression can lead to physical stress, anxiety, depression and even health problems over time, as our bodies bear the burden of unexpressed emotional energy. Suppressing emotions also contributes to a wide range of problems, including stress, anxiety, depression, and difficulty forming healthy, emotional connections with others.

Avoidance of emotions often stems from fear or discomfort associated with certain feelings. However, by avoiding emotions, we miss out on opportunities for growth and learning. Each emotion carries a message, and by exploring these messages, we can gain valuable insights into ourselves and our relationships.

Distraction is another common strategy for not dealing with emotions. We may turn to various forms of entertainment, substance use, overwork, or other means to divert our attention from uncomfortable feelings. While distraction can provide temporary relief, it does not resolve the underlying emotional issue. Moreover, it can lead to a habit of escapism, where we continuously seek external distractions rather than facing our emotions and the realities of our lives.

On the other hand, when we allow ourselves to experience our emotions fully, we are practicing being present. We're acknowledging and embracing our emotional reality and allowing it to exist. This leads to a deeper understanding of ourselves and our needs. Being present with our emotions enables us to cultivate emotional intelligence, which includes skills like emotional self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and effective interpersonal communication.

Being present means embracing our emotions as an integral part of our human experience. It means recognizing, experiencing, and expressing our emotions in a healthy way. Doing so not only contributes to personal growth and emotional health but also enriches our everyday experiences, enhancing our connections with others and ourselves.

Avoidance of Uncomfortable Feelings and Situations

Avoidance coping refers to our tendency to evade uncomfortable feelings and situations by avoiding people, situations, and issues, in hopes of reducing our feelings of anxiety or discomfort. Avoidance feeds into our fears and anxieties, often compounding mental health issues such as anxiety disorders and depression. Moreover, avoiding difficult emotions doesn't make them disappear; rather, they often resurface more strongly later on, leading to increased distress.

Avoiding uncomfortable feelings and situations hinders our personal growth and development. Facing challenges and learning to manage discomfort is a crucial part of our growth. When we're constantly evading situations that make us uncomfortable, we're missing out on the life experiences that would compel us to learn and develop into the best version of ourselves. We're also perpetuating the self-defeating patterns that prevent us from realizing our true potential and forming healthy, meaningful relationships.

Conversely, the act of engaging with these very situations that provoke discomfort amplifies our presence. When we courageously confront what we have been evading, we position ourselves at the heart of our experiences. This deliberate action of ‘showing up' offers us a unique opportunity to grow and deepen our understanding of ourselves and others. It reinforces our resilience and adaptability, leading us towards a more authentic, engaged, and present existence.

The impact of technology

Technology and digital media, having transformed us into a constantly connected society, are dramatically altering our capacity to be truly present in our lives. But this interconnectivity comes at a cost. A relentless deluge of notifications, messages, and alerts pull our attention away from our immediate surroundings and experiences, fragment our focus, leading to a state of constant partial attention.

Consequently, we're often not entirely engaged with the task at hand or the conversation we're having. This state of being halfway there disconnects us from our own feelings, experiences, and the people around us, ultimately inhibiting the richness of our relationships and even our self-reflection.

Further compounding the challenge is the firehose of information with which digital media floods our senses. While having access to a vast wealth of knowledge has its advantages, it can often lead to information overload. Having to process such enormous amounts of information creates a cognitive burden that consumes much of our mental and emotional bandwidth. This burden reduces our presence in our immediate environment and makes us less capable of engaging fully in our interactions.

Instagram has become an online space where people feel they have to post images that depict idealized versions of their lives. When we find ourselves constantly comparing our own bodies, relationships, and romantic partners to these portrayals, feelings of envy and dissatisfaction with various aspects of our own lives invariably arise. This only hinders our ability to appreciate and engage with our own experiences and achievements.

Excessive gaming or binge-watching streaming services, such as Netflix, that pull us out of the here and now can easily become an escape from reality. These diversions provide a convenient means to avoid dealing with issues that need our attention. Inhabiting these digital realms for extended periods of time impedes our ability to be as fully present in our lives.

As we become more tethered to our digital devices, we're spending considerably less time in nature. Without the healing presence and natural beauty of the Earth, we often feel ungrounded and stressed out. This, in many instances, can contribute to heightened levels of anxiety and depression.

While technology has its advantages, it's important for us to be mindful of maintaining a balance between our digital and real-life interactions. It's crucial for us to regularly disconnect from digital distractions so that we can reconnect with what matters most and be more present with ourselves, our environment, and the people in our lives.

Texting versus talking

In our modern digital world, texting has, for many, become the preferred method of communication. This shift largely reflects many people's struggle to be fully present in their interactions. Although texting's convenience is undeniable, it often eliminates several elements integral to genuine human connection, which raises several concerns:

The vast majority of our communication, over 90%, is actually nonverbal. Aspects such as body language, facial expressions, voice modulation, and even meaningful silence contribute to this. These nonverbal signals enrich our conversations and enhance our understanding of each other's feelings and intentions. Unfortunately, texting is devoid of these cues, resulting in a pared-down and frequently misinterpreted form of interaction.

Texting often introduces a time lag between exchanges, interrupting the natural rhythm and connection we experience in real-time conversations. Immediate responses and spontaneous dialogue contribute to more vibrant and engaging exchanges, encouraging deeper bonds.

The convenience of texting, paradoxically, can contribute to its impersonality. Since we can text almost anytime and anywhere – while watching TV, during dinner, or amidst a meeting – our attention is often divided. Consequently, we are not wholly present in our textual conversations.

Texting also provides an escape hatch from difficult discussions. Ignoring a text or delaying a response is much easier than evading a direct, face-to-face conversation or a voice call. This tendency to shy away from substantial discussions not only impedes conflict resolution but also thwarts opportunities for finding shared understanding.

Text messages, often due to their brevity, can inhibit the complete expression of our thoughts and feelings, thus limiting the depth of our communication. By contrast, an in-person conversation or even a phone call allows for a richer, more nuanced dialogue.

The act of being physically present or hearing someone's voice humanizes the interaction, encourages full engagement, allows for real-time reactions, and facilitates the expression and comprehension of a wider range of emotions. Spoken conversation facilitates deeper connections, shared understanding, and ultimately, stronger relationships.

If your intention is to become more fully present, consider speaking directly to the person. Unless interacting with them poses some form of threat, make a concerted effort to communicate verbally. Conversations by phone are often sufficient, but whenever possible, discuss issues of importance in person. Moreover, if you truly value the person you're communicating with, then verbal communication serves everyone's best interest.

Keep in mind that face-to-face interactions help to increase your presence, as they necessitate immediate, real-time engagement with others. Making a concerted effort to show up more fully present in your interactions will provide you with numerous opportunities to co-create deeper and more meaningful relationships. Showing up with greater presence in your interactions will enhance your personal and professional success. It will also accelerate your personal growth.

Setting boundaries on our use of technology

Our smartphones, social media, and the constant news updates can be incredibly addictive. Many of us are spending excessive amounts of time online, even sacrificing sleep to stay up late scrolling through our social media feeds. We're so distracted by our digital feeds, and that's preventing us from doing much of what needs to be done. The constant digital engagement not only desensitizes us to our emotions and physical bodies, making us less self-aware, but it also numbs us, further disconnecting us from our own lived experiences.

Setting boundaries on our use of technology is critical. Healthy tech boundaries can include setting specific times for checking emails and social media, disabling non-essential notifications, or even instituting regular digital detox periods. By reducing our dependence on and the amount of time we spend interacting with digital devices, we free ourselves up to become more present in the here and now.

Multitasking

While multitasking seems like a good way to increase productivity, it often leads to decreased efficiency. When we try to do multiple tasks at once, we're not giving any single task our full attention. As a result, we're more prone to errors, less likely to complete tasks, and the quality of our work is diminished. Contrary to increasing our productivity, multitasking tends to add to our stress while decreasing our effectiveness.

Multitasking requires constant switching between tasks, which can significantly impair our focus and attention. Every time we switch between tasks, there's a cognitive cost as our brain needs to reorient itself to the new task. This constant switching contributes to mental fatigue and reduced productivity over time. Moreover, the habit of multitasking can make it harder for us to focus even when we're only doing one task, as our brain becomes accustomed to being in a state of divided attention.

Escaping into alcohol and other drugs

Any substance we use habitually as a form of escape invariably diminishes our presence, creating a psychological fog that blurs our consciousness. Moreover, this reliance on external substances inhibits our ability to develop crucial coping skills, and the resources needed to navigate the realities of our lives. Instead of confronting and resolving our challenges, we find ourselves stuck in a cycle of avoidance and denial, which ultimately impedes our personal growth and well-being.

Alcohol and other drugs provide a temporary reprieve. Those fleeting moments of relief are often followed by a rebound effect, where the destressing emotions return, often stronger than before. That can lead to a vicious cycle of increased substance use in a futile attempt to maintain the relief.

Substance use, especially chronic or heavy use, numbs us to our feelings. It diminishes our ability to experience our full range of emotions. This emotional blunting interferes with our relationships, as well as our ability to connect with ourselves on a deeper level. Habitual use of substances that alter our state of mind makes it more difficult for us to be present in our lives, to fully engage with the world around us, and to enjoy the pleasures of everyday life.

Alcohol and other drug use contribute to a host of health-related issues such as cirrhosis of the liver, heart disease, and damage to the nervous system. Their use can also result in addiction, which can have severe impacts on every aspect of our lives, including our relationships, career, and overall well-being. We cannot possibly be present when the pursuit of the substance takes precedence over all else.

Tobacco and Caffeine

Smoking tobacco not only numbs us to our emotions, but it also wreaks havoc on our physical health. The damage caused by smoking affects nearly every organ in the body, leading to a multitude of health issues including heart disease, stroke, and lung cancer.

The act of smoking creates a physiological and psychological numbing effect, which diminishes our presence. As we dull our senses and ignore the damage being inflicted on our bodies, we become less connected to ourselves, others, and the world around us. This hinders our ability to fully engage in and appreciate life's experiences.

While the caffeine found in coffee and tea can certainly help us stay alert and focus our attention, it's important to be mindful of its potential downsides. On the surface, caffeine may make us feel energized and alert, but underneath that, it's masking our body's natural signals of fatigue.

Over time, the continual drain on our life force can deplete our kidneys and adrenals. This constant state of ‘amped up' energy not only masks our body's true need for rest but can also disrupt our sleep patterns. Lack of quality rest further depletes our energy, creating a cycle of dependency on caffeine to keep us going.

Caffeine also pulls us into a mental space, causing us to operate more from our heads than our bodies. This can create a form of numbing where we're less in touch with our emotions. As a result, we might miss out on subtle emotional cues or fail to fully process our feelings. This emotional disconnection impedes our ability to be fully present, distancing us from our lived experiences and hindering our interactions with others.

If you choose to drink coffee or tea, do so with moderation and awareness, always being mindful of your body's limits. This way, you can enjoy your coffee or tea without compromising your presence or well-being.

Psychotropic medications

While the use of psychotropic medications is crucial for individuals struggling with certain mental health conditions, they can, in many instances, cause emotional numbing or disconnection. This is especially notable when these medications are used to suppress emotions surfacing in response to unhealed traumatic wounds.

Many people turn to antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications due to a lack of effective emotional coping skills, which can inadvertently impede the healing process. While these medications may provide temporary relief, they can also diminish our ability to engage in the deep-level processing necessary to heal our emotional wounds. However, it's important to note that as we take the necessary steps to heal by addressing the root causes of our distress and learn to work constructively with our emotional responses, many of us will find that we no longer require these medications.

As we continue to progress along our journey of healing, we start to free up a great deal of mental and emotional bandwidth and other resources that were previously consumed by our pain. This process opens up space for us to more fully engage with our lives, our relationships, and ourselves, enabling us to be more present in each moment.

Spiritual bypassing

Any religion that suggests you, or parts of you, are sinful—especially when it encourages you to reject parts of yourself, such as your sexuality—can be extremely damaging psychologically. This includes religious stances against homosexuality, bisexuality, and even heterosexual intimacy if it occurs outside the context of marriage. We need to challenge the validity of such toxic beliefs and question the supposed authority of the individuals who originate or promote them. Internalizing such beliefs will inevitably cause you to disconnect from parts of your natural being, including your body.

Followers of many forms of spirituality attempt to transcend the physical body, earthly desires, and emotions. I have worked with individuals who follow gurus and spiritual teachers from various traditions who are incredibly dissociated. A significant portion of them are hugely resistant to being present in their bodies and acknowledging their authentic emotional responses.

Much of contemporary New Age spirituality is just as detrimental. Many people who practice the Law of Attraction deny their traumatic wounds and authentic emotional responses and the realities of their lives to affirm and envision the life they want to believe into existence. These attempts at spiritual bypassing leave people disconnected on multiple levels, which is diametrically opposed to being fully present.

Getting adequate sleep

In our fast-paced lives, where long work hours, lengthy commutes, and the addictive pull of endless news updates and social media feeds compete for our attention, getting adequate sleep can become quite a challenge. Chronic sleep deprivation can leave us feeling perpetually drained, sapping our vitality. As our life force diminishes with each restless night, we find ourselves less connected to our bodies and less engaged in the present moment.

Getting adequate sleep is essential for being more fully present in our daily lives. When we're well-rested, our cognitive functions, such as memory and concentration, see significant improvement. This mental clarity allows us to immerse ourselves more fully in our projects and enhance the quality of our interactions throughout the day. Just as crucial is the emotional stability that comes with adequate sleep—it helps regulate our mood and reduce anxiety, making it easier for us to remain grounded in our bodies here in the present moment.

Adequate sleep replenishes our energy reserves, enabling us to be more actively engaged in our day-to-day activities, thereby enhancing our presence. It also boosts our immune function, supporting our overall health and freeing us to focus on the present moment instead of being hindered by exhaustion and illness. Plus, a good night's rest sharpens our senses, amplifying our awareness and connection to our surroundings, all of which furthers our ability to be more fully present.

Being well-rested helps us manage stress more effectively. With a lower stress level, we're able to stay more focused, less consumed by worries, and more capable of experiencing the present moment. Furthermore, a well-rested state facilitates better decision-making. This reflects a state of presence characterized by thoughtful, considered decisions rather than hasty, reactive, or clouded ones.

Spending time in nature

Immersing yourself in nature offers a calming respite from the relentless distractions and stresses of modern-day life. Engaging with the elements encourages you to open to your body and senses in ways that increase your presence while instilling a profound sense of belonging and connectedness.

Earthing or grounding, the act of touching and interacting with the soil or the earth beneath our feet is believed to physically and emotionally connect us to the planet. Gardening, hiking, or simply walking barefoot on the grass can be relaxing and grounding.

Forest bathing, or spending time among trees, popularized in countries like Japan (where it's known as Shinrin-Yoku), has been linked to improved immune system functioning, reduced blood pressure, and stress reduction. This deep connection to trees can heighten our sense of being part of the natural world.

Bodies of water, whether an ocean, lake, or river, have long been recognized for their calming and healing properties. They induce meditative states that reduce stress while nourishing our bodies. This phenomenon, sometimes referred to as ‘blue space,' has a significant impact on our wellbeing.

Interacting with animals and plants has profound effects on our mood and health. Pets have been known to lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels, while plants can improve air quality and create a sense of tranquility. Observing the complex interconnections of wildlife and other aspects of nature inspires feelings of awe and wonder.

Connecting with nature attunes us to the world around us. The sights, sounds, smells, and tactile experiences help us align with our bodies. Feeling the wind on our skin, hearing the rustle of leaves, smelling the fresh earth, observing the myriad colors of the flora, and tasting the sweetness of fresh berries all contribute to an embodied awareness.

Connecting with nature can also bring us into alignment with the greater cycles of life and time, such as the changing seasons, the waxing and waning of the moon, and the rhythm of the tides. That helps us to feel part of something greater than ourselves, and to see our own lives within a broader perspective.

Kayaking, biking, rock climbing, hiking, and other physically challenging activities, besides requiring physical exertion, also heighten our awareness of the sights, sounds, and smells around us. This heightened state of sensory awareness, coupled with the challenge of physical engagement, grounds us in our bodies while deepening our connection with the Earth and all its inhabitants.

How our dietary choices impact our ability to be present

The foods we consume greatly impact our overall wellbeing and directly affect our ability to be present and engaged in our lives. Heavily processed foods, such as those commonly found in many supermarkets and fast-food chains like McDonald's, Burger King, and KFC, often contain high levels of refined sugar and artificial ingredients. These highly processed foods are largely devoid of nutritional value and are especially harmful to our bodies.

Foods devoid of nutritional value and harmful to our bodies can have a numbing or even deadening effect on our consciousness. Regular consumption of these foods may lead to a multitude of health issues, including obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. Such conditions not only burden the body but also impair brain function, potentially giving rise to mental health problems such as depression and anxiety. When we're struggling with these health-related concerns, our capacity to fully participate in and enjoy our lives can be profoundly hindered. Our ability to be present and engaged diminishes when our bodies and minds are suffering the effects of poor dietary choices.

Feeding our bodies with nutrient-rich foods, like organic fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds, is like providing premium fuel for a high-performance engine. These foods are packed with the vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients our bodies need to function optimally.

For those of us who include animal products in our diets, lean proteins offer essential amino acids that our bodies can't produce on their own. Superfoods, like chlorella, are also potent sources of nutrition, providing dense concentrations of vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants.

Consuming these nourishing foods helps to vitalize our bodies, nourishing every cell and organ, promoting overall health and wellbeing. As we nurture our bodies, we're also nourishing our minds. A healthy, vital body supports clear thinking and emotional balance, contributing to a heightened sense of presence. When we are physically healthy and vibrant, we are better able to engage fully in each moment. We can tune in more readily to our sensory experiences, focus more effectively on the task at hand, and connect more deeply with the people around us. In essence, the more we care for our bodies through mindful nutrition, the more present and alive we become in our daily lives.

Get physical

Physical activities require us to use our bodies in coordinated and controlled ways, promoting awareness of how different parts of our bodies move and work together. The focus on coordination and movement helps us to become more attuned to our bodies, strengthening the mind-body connection.

Athletic activities that demand high levels of concentration and focus, help us become more present and connected with our physical selves. When we're fully engaged in these activities, we're not just physically present; we're also mentally and emotionally invested in what we're doing.

Physical activities, especially those that involve other people like team sports or dance classes, can encourage a sense of connection and community, which can further promote a sense of embodiment. They provide us with opportunities to connect with others physically, such as through touch or coordinated movement, which can enhance our awareness of our own physicality.

Athletic activities often involve a level of physical challenge, pushing our bodies to new limits, and requiring us to adapt and respond. This can foster a sense of resilience and adaptability, as we learn to navigate these challenges and develop new skills and abilities.

Stage presence

Presence is about being wholly engaged with our passions, our visions, and our contributions to the world. It's about cultivating an energy that emanates from within and resonates with those around us, whether on stage or in everyday life. This presence is often the product of a profound journey of personal growth, a journey that involves embracing our passions, chasing our visions, and making a difference in the world around us.

Stage presence is an important aspect for performers like actors and musicians, but it also extends to anyone who is deeply connected to their passions, has a clear vision, and contributes positively to the world. Stage presence, in the realm of acting or music, is the charismatic, captivating aura that performers project. It’s the combination of their skill, their passion, and the raw energy they bring to their performance. They are fully present in the moment, connected to their craft, the audience, and the story they’re weaving through their performance. This connection creates an intense, palpable energy that can captivate an audience.

The concept of presence goes beyond the stage. Those of us who are passionately following our vision also exude a similar kind of presence. When we're thoroughly invested in our pursuits, fully engaged with the tasks at hand, and attuned to our broader mission, our deep engagement and commitment shine through, creating a magnetic force that draws others in.

As social activists passionately working for change, or entrepreneurs dedicatedly building startups, we become living embodiments of our vision. Our full-on engagement with our work creates a powerful presence. We have a clear understanding of our purpose, are deeply connected to our cause, and willingly invest our time and effort into making a difference. This presence becomes a part of our identity—it influences how we interact with others, how we handle challenges, and how we celebrate victories.

A healthier and more congruent presence

I want to circle back around to emotions, because I sometimes notice a profound disconnect in some people who otherwise emanate a powerful presence. Some of these individuals have a distinct physicality about them. They're athletic and work out regularly. They're actively engaged in life, participating in social activities. They may also consume the healthiest of foods. However, if they're disconnecting emotionally, the feelings they're avoiding, suppressing, or numbing themselves to can distort their expression. This emotional disconnection creates blind spots, preventing them from seeing an accurate reflection of themselves and recognizing the implications of their words and actions.

Allowing ourselves to fully feel and express our emotions in a healthy way facilitates greater self-awareness while helping us integrate the various aspects of ourselves. This emotional honesty enables us to learn essential life lessons and evolve from our experiences.

As our emotional expression becomes healthier, we become more trustworthy and congruent, and our compassion deepens. This process of transformation not only benefits us personally, but it also enhances our relationships, making us better friends, partners, and integral members of our communities.

Why is it so important for us to show up more fully present

Becoming more fully present greatly impacts many aspects of our lives including physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, personal, and professional development. Conversely, lack of presence stifles our growth and development in all of these areas. Let's explore each of them in detail:

Our bodies often give us signals about our health and wellbeing. When we're not fully present, we overlook these signs, neglecting self-care, ignoring symptoms of illness, or adopting unhealthy existence choices.

When we're not fully engaged, we invariably miss out on important details, insights, and ideas, and this adversely impacts our ability to acquire new information, solve problems, and think creatively. Being present is crucial to learning and intellectual growth, as mindful awareness boosts our memory and cognitive function.

When we're not being present, we're more likely to suppress, ignore, or avoid our feelings, and that causes more stagnation and emotional distress over time. By being present with our emotions, we allow ourselves to process and understand them, leading to better emotional health and resilience.

Spiritual growth often requires mindful awareness and a deep, present connection with ourselves and the universe around us. Being disconnected or distracted can hinder our ability to connect with our spiritual selves, which can impact our sense of purpose, peace, and wellbeing.

Relationships thrive on presence. Lack of presence leads to shallow connections, misunderstandings, or feelings of loneliness, while inadvertently creating emotional distance. When we're not fully present, we often overlook our partner's subtle cues, neglect their needs, and struggle with effective communication. This insufficient presence not only strains our bonds but also infuses them with a sense of dissatisfaction, taking a significant toll on our relationships. Conversely, by genuinely being present, we can connect more deeply with others, better understand their perspectives, and co-create more meaningful relationships.

Personal growth requires self-awareness, which is difficult to achieve without being present with ourselves. Without presence, we might overlook our strengths and weaknesses, fail to recognize the patterns that hold us back, or struggle to identify our goals and desires. By being present, we develop greater self-awareness, which in turn encourages personal development.

In the workplace, presence can mean the difference between performing adequately and excelling. Being fully engaged boosts productivity, creativity, problem-solving skills, and interpersonal relationships at work. On the other hand, a lack of presence is more likely to lead to mistakes, missed opportunities and stalled careers.

Lack of presence stunts our development. When that happens, we invariably miss out on the richness and depth of human experience. Showing up more fully present in all aspects of our lives allows us to connect more deeply with ourselves, others, and the world around us. This enhances our ability to grow, adapt, and flourish on multiple levels.

Bringing more of you into the here and now

Becoming more fully present is an ongoing process of bringing as much awareness and engagement as you can into each moment. It's important to make a concerted effort to pay close attention to the changes occurring in your emotional state and physical sensations whenever you find yourself disconnecting. Take note of your body's responses — both physical and emotional — when you're not fully present in your interactions with others, or when you're confronting difficult or challenging issues or situations.

Notice your physical presence at any given moment. Tune into your body. Do you feel tension anywhere? What does your posture feel like? Grounding yourself in your physical presence can bring you back to the present moment.

Bring your full attention to your emotional state. Are you feeling anxious, angry, happy, sad? Rather than pushing these emotions away, acknowledge them. Notice how they're influencing your behavior and interaction with others.

Practice active listening in your interactions with others. Focus on the other person's words without thinking about your response. Notice their non-verbal cues. This not only makes you more present in the conversation but also allows you to understand the other person more deeply.

When faced with difficulties, practice mindful breathing. Taking slow, deep breaths can help calm the mind and body, bringing you back to the present and enabling you to approach the situation with more clarity.

In situations where you might typically disengage, like a difficult conversation or unpleasant situation, make a concerted effort to stay fully present. Notice when you feel the urge to disconnect, and instead, bring more awareness and presence into the moment. Ask questions, provide feedback, and make eye contact.

Show compassion for yourself by understanding that it's okay to disconnect sometimes, especially during periods of high stress or emotional turmoil. Use these instances as learning opportunities for growth and self-improvement by gradually bringing more of yourself into the here and now. By implementing these practices, you can train your body and mind to stay more present in your daily life and in your interactions with others. Over time, this will enable you to experience more meaningful connections and handle challenging situations more effectively.

Practices and therapeutic interventions

You're going to be able to pay more attention to the present when more of your senses are engaged. Whatever you can do to connect or reconnecting with your body and emotions will help you to become more fully present and improve the overall quality of your life. It will enable you to better understand and attend to your needs, to respond more effectively to challenges, and to engage more deeply and authentically with your lived experience and the people around you.

Developing emotional intelligence, which is your ability to identify, understand, and work constructively with your emotions, is a crucial component of becoming more fully present. By fully engaging with your emotional experiences rather than suppressing or avoiding them, you increase your self-awareness and your connection to your internal world. This heightened self-awareness, in turn, increases your engagement with the external world. Here are the basic steps:

• Check in throughout the day to notice how you're feeling in your body
• Pay special attention to any feelings and sensations that arise whenever you're in the midst of any situation or interaction that evokes an emotional response
• Bring your full awareness to these feelings and bodily sensations
• Breathe softly and deeply as you fully immerse your awareness in the depths of these feelings and bodily sensations
• Follow these feelings and bodily sensations as they go through their progression

Regular practice deepens self-awareness, reduce stress and anxiety, and improves your attention and concentration, all of which contribute to increased presence. It also helps you to cultivate a much deeper and more intimate relationship with yourself and others.

Any therapeutic process that facilitates the healing of your physical body, enables you to work constructively with your emotional responses and engage more effectively with life, is going to help you become more fully present in your relationships and all aspects of your life. There are so many tools and resources available to choose from. Practices such as yoga and tai chi and resources such as flotation tanks can be effective tools for cultivating presence. They train our mind to focus on the present moment and to engage fully with current experiences. Therapeutic interventions such as deep tissue body work help to reconnect you with your body and to access the emotions held within.

The vision quests I go on are too intense for most people. And yet you can derive many of the same benefits that I experience by working with me individually. The presence working through me during the individual sessions builds a strong stable foundation while drawing more of your soul into your body. As a result, you become more fully embodied and develop more of the resources that will enable you to live a much richer and more meaningful life. Reach out to me by calling (332) 333-5155 or click on this link when you're ready to take the next step.

©Copyright 2023 Ben Oofana. All Rights Reserved.

When you’re ready, I have 3 ways I can help you to heal your heartache and attract more love into your life and cocreate more meaningful and deeply fulfilling relationships.
1. Click here to grab your free copy of my eBook – The Essentials Of Getting Over Your Breakup And Moving On
2. Watch the master class Three Reasons Your Relationships Are Not Working …And What You Can Do About It.
3. Work with me individually Are you in the midst of a breakup, struggling with patterns of abandonment or unrequited love, or facing challenges in your current relationship and would like to work directly with me, email me at ben@benoofana.com. For faster response, call me at (332) 333-5155.