In any relationship, the emotional bond and level of attachment between individuals can vary greatly. Sometimes, people enter relationships casually, without deep emotional involvement. In such cases, when the relationship ends, it might not cause significant distress. This can be especially true if there were elements in the relationship that were stressful or uncomfortable. For instance, if the partner caused [...]
Breakups can be times of intense emotional vulnerability. That person we loved and were loved by had been so much a part of our lives. Now we hardly ever see them. And when we do, it evokes all kinds of uncomfortable feelings. Or maybe they’ve dropped out of our lives completely. We struggle to make sense of our losses and [...]
Relationships have an amazing way of putting us in touch with our deepest vulnerabilities. We are continually changing and so are our partners. And that means our relationship are always changing. We fall in love with one another and maybe we thought we had found true love and that it would last forever. In most instances, we’re going to fall [...]
Katelynn shared during the introduction to one of my classes that she had been struggling to cope emotionally after a recent breakup. I asked her if she could tell us what brought about the dissolution of the relationship. She told us that significant differences in their needs and values were generating a lot of conflict. Her former partner left on short notice when he was offered a job in California. I asked Katelynn if she was making any effort to keep in touch with him. Katelynn told me that she found it too painful to keep in touch and so she stopped returning his calls. I had Katelynn close her eyes, begin to breathe softly and deeply and bring her former partner to the forefront of her awareness and then tell us how she was feeling. Katelynn said that she was feeling mildly depressed, isolated and numb. Katelynn later shared that she was missing her former partner and that she was experiencing a profound sense of emptiness combined with feelings of sadness and anger. She said that the whole experience left her wondering what she had done wrong.
Sean felt a desperate longing to have someone in his life during his teens and twenties. What made it even worse is that he could see that so many of his peers were coupling up. But Sean’s attempts to find love were often met with rejection. In more recent years he has experienced a growing sense of resignation. After so [...]
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