When I was in seventh grade, one of my teachers called my mom to arrange a parent-teacher meeting. At the time, I wasn’t doing all that well in school — mostly because I hadn’t yet developed solid study habits. But that teacher cared enough to step in and help me build the foundation I needed to actually learn how to learn. It made a real difference, and I started to improve academically. Whether it’s in school, in our work, in our relationships, or in our personal healing and growth, one thing holds true: we need to develop the ability to learn from our experiences, adapt, and keep growing.

At seventeen, I made my way to Oklahoma and found myself living among a community of Kiowa Indians. I immersed myself in the traditional culture, spent a lot of time with the elders, and many nights sitting up in peyote meetings.

In many ways, I feel incredibly fortunate to have had the chance to train with Horace Daukei, one of the last surviving traditional doctors (or medicine men) of the Kiowa Tribe. Horace passed on portions of his healing gifts to me and then had me go on the vision quest to earn the right to work with them. The vision quest is a traditional Native practice that involves fasting alone in the mountains for four days and nights, without food or water.

The training I went through with Horace was extraordinarily difficult at times. In many ways, he was testing me to see just how committed I was. But I was also driven by my own determination — I knew this was what I wanted to do with my life.

Years later, after a few too many mugging attempts, I began training with Shifu Li Tai Liang in the internal martial arts of Xin Yi Quan, Baguazhang, Tai Chi, and Chi Gong. I spent a lot of time learning the various forms and their application in fighting. I also spent a great deal of additional time doing various practices to build the internal power that makes these forms so devastatingly effective. The training was very strenuous at times, yet for me, it helped to build a much stronger foundation. The Chi Gong practices also facilitate healing, the development of the body and mind, and a deepening connection with the elemental forces of the heavens and Earth.

The Desire to Heal—and the Willingness to Do the Work

Having trained with a traditional Native American doctor and gone through many vision quests over the years, I—like so many indigenous healers—work as a conduit, allowing an extraordinarily powerful presence to move through me to facilitate healing in the bodies and minds of those I work with. I do this work because I care deeply about people and want to see each individual heal—not just physically, but also from the deep emotional wounds so many carry—while building strength in both body and mind.

What concerns me, though, is that while many say they want to heal, few are truly willing to do what it takes for real healing to happen. In the remainder of this article, I want to explore some of the key impediments that hold people back from healing—with the hope that, with the right understanding, you can make the choices and follow through with the actions needed to truly heal your body and mind and realize your full potential.

You Can’t Just Talk Your Way Out of It

These days, it’s become more common for people to seek out talk therapy. And while that can be an important part of the healing journey—and even an essential step for many—the problem is, it often doesn’t get to the core issues. Instead, it tends to intellectualize what needs to be deeply felt and processed. Still, it’s the route a lot of people take in trying to deal with their stagnation.

In many cases, people who go into therapy come away thinking they’ve “done the work” and that they’ve healed—like they’ve graduated. But the truth is, they’re nowhere near healed. You can hear it in the way they talk about growth and healing, yet still see them acting out the same dysfunction. And many are still holding significant trauma, along with a backlog of highly charged emotions and stagnant emotional residue in their body. Just because someone makes time for therapy, sits down to talk, feels heard, and gains some intellectual understanding doesn’t mean their wounds are actually healing.

It’s a dynamic that, in many ways, reflects the superficiality of our culture. Again, therapy can absolutely be a valuable component of one’s healing path—but on its own, it often doesn’t go that far. Bottom line: you can sit and talk to your therapist every week for decades and still be really fucked up.

The Psychedelic Trap

Another trap many people are falling into is the overuse of substances like ayahuasca, psilocybin, MDMA, and ketamine. While there may be some therapeutic benefit in certain cases, it’s often limited. I’ve seen numerous individuals carrying significant trauma—some quite dissociated—and even after repeated ceremonies with plant medicines or synthetics, the trauma stored in their bodies and the disconnect from themselves remains palpable. It’s a clear indication that the deep emotional wounds are not actually healing.

Psychoactive substances can trigger extraordinarily powerful biochemical responses. Yes, the experience can feel intense, even profound. You may gain insights or start connecting dots, but that’s not the same as deep, lasting healing or true transformation. It’s certainly not the same as the kind of foundation that’s built over years of intensive daily discipline on a spiritual path.

For some, the use of these substances has become another form of escapism—an attempt to bypass the real, often difficult work of addressing the root causes of their suffering. Many people today are looking for the quick fix. They want to go to a ceremony, vomit out their demons, and walk away healed. But that’s not how healing works. The truth is, a lot of people simply aren’t courageous enough to do the real, sustained work involved in healing and transformation. There’s no integration. No structure. No foundation.

And we have to be honest: substances like MDMA and ketamine, especially when used repeatedly, can have serious long-term consequences—including potential neurological damage. Even ayahuasca and psilocybin, while often regarded as sacred or natural, can in some instances be incredibly destabilizing for certain individuals. In that sense, the current wave of “healing through psychedelics” isn’t all that different from people dropping acid in the '60s and '70s—chasing an experience instead of building a life.

Face the Issues, Feel the Feelings

Many people spend the majority of their lives running from the issues and emotions they’d rather not face. We numb ourselves to our feelings, find something to keep us distracted—gambling, social media, sex, shopping—or medicate ourselves with food, pharmaceuticals, alcohol, or other recreational drugs. Some of us generate endless drama.

The problem with this approach is that you cannot deny a truth without giving it strength beyond all endurance. The emotional wounding we try so hard to forget, or numb ourselves to, will eventually cause us to blow up our lives through acts of self-sabotage—often playing out in our professional lives and relationships. And in time, it will express itself through the body as some form of pathology, such as digestive distress, heart disease, or even cancer.

When the traumas of my childhood and adolescence began to resurface in my mid-twenties, I found myself forming attachments to women who were unavailable, disinterested—and in some instances, quite abusive—and others who were simply not a good match. Needing so desperately at that time to love and be loved, I often attempted to make those relationships work. But that only led to them blowing up in my face and ultimately perpetuated my suffering.

The pain I felt at times was excruciating, yet I had an instinctive sense that I needed to breathe softly and deeply while fully immersing my awareness in the depths of all those overwhelming emotions. At some point, the pain would break open, and I could feel it coming out of my body in waves.

Faced with numerous other challenges, I often resisted, shut down, or reacted in ways that were not at all productive. But over time, I gradually taught myself to face the issues head-on by addressing any issue, concern, or situation to the best of my ability. Whenever I felt sadness, grief, frustration, longing, or other emotional responses, I kept reminding myself to breathe from the depths of whatever I was feeling in that given moment.

It’s such a critically important part of our healing and growth to face the issues concerning us head-on, to the best of our ability. Of course, that’s easier said than done. But do the best you can—even if you feel awkward, even if you’re shaking at times. And if necessary, reach out for support from a friend, a family member, or a therapist.

It’s also important to remember that our lived experiences—and the emotional responses tied to them—need to be digested. Give yourself permission to feel your authentic emotional responses, allowing the feelings to be exactly what they are. Center your awareness in the depths of those feelings, breathing softly and deeply, following them as they go through their progression. Your feelings may intensify, spread to other parts of your body, and other emotions may emerge. As you continue to breathe from the depths of those feelings, they will begin to soften and become more diffuse.

The emotions that arise in response to something like the loss of a job, financial insecurity, the death of a loved one, a breakup, or unresolved attachment issues can be extraordinarily painful—and will take longer to process. More minor frustrations and upsets, on the other hand, can often be worked through more quickly. The more consistently you work with this practice, the more you increase your “processing capacity”—and the more resilient and capable you become.

The Critical Importance of Intensive Daily Practice

The training I went through with my mentor Horace and with Shifu Li Tai Liang, along with the time I’ve spent with Buddhist monks, a Nepali Sadhu, Indian gurus, and adepts from other ancient spiritual traditions, has given me a depth of insight into healing and spiritual development that most people simply don’t have access to. The truth is, in today’s modern world, very few people have any kind of healthy or realistic model for what true healing and spiritual development actually look like.

Intensive daily practice is one of the core aspects of every ancient spiritual tradition I’ve encountered. Buddhist monks, Indian yogis, sadhus, and adepts from other Asian traditions often spend hours each day in deep meditation. Those who attain mastery in the internal martial arts—like Xin Yi Quan and Baguazhang, which are rooted in Taoism—not only train in the physical forms, but devote significant time to internal practices that build and circulate chi. Among Native American traditions across the Plains and the Mountain West, intensive practices like the vision quest and the Sun Dance involve fasting without food or water for four days and nights. Many of those who committed themselves to these paths developed extraordinary capabilities—some even exhibiting what could be called paranormal abilities.

Students who excel academically usually spend a lot of time studying, and athletes and musicians typically dedicate countless hours to practice. Yet the vast majority of people in our modern-day world aren't meditating or engaging in any kind of intensive spiritual practice—and it definitely shows. The stress, trauma, and unprocessed emotions they carry, combined with physical toxins from poor diet, pharmaceuticals, smoking, drinking, and other recreational drug use, all accumulate in the body. Over time, they become stagnant and grow little, if at all. Their bodies often begin to break down at an accelerated pace, causing them to age faster than they otherwise would.

In my mid-twenties, I began developing a system of meditation practices that I’ve been teaching to nearly everyone I work with—so long as they’re lucid—for over three and a half decades. But over the years, I’ve found it difficult to get many people to do any practice outside of our sessions. As a result, I often end up working much harder, because the bodies of those who don’t practice are more armored and hold a great deal of stagnation. They typically don’t feel as much, and their bodies are usually nowhere near as responsive to the healing sessions and tend to be much slower to respond. I also end up spending a lot more time connecting the dots for them because of their lack of awareness of their own emotions and bodies.

The system of practices I teach awakens the innate healing intelligence that resides within the body and mind. When done consistently, these practices enable you to dissolve layers of body armor and cleanse the system of stagnation and physical toxins. They help you digest trauma and other lived experiences, along with the emotions attached to them. This, in turn, facilitates healing within the body—improving the function of the organs and systems. The body and mind become more malleable, and therefore far more responsive to the healing sessions. As a result, those I work with who actually do their homework are able to progress at a much more accelerated pace.

Our lives in this modern-day world can be incredibly demanding. So many of us are working and commuting long hours… caring for children, aging parents, and managing other responsibilities. Add to that the endless distraction of our devices and digital media. For all of these reasons, we need to be doing intensive daily practice more than ever.

As I mentioned earlier, Buddhist monks, Indian sadhus and yogis, and those who attain mastery in the internal martial arts—such as Xin Yi Quan and Baguazhang—usually practice for at least a few hours a day. Many spend the majority of their waking hours in deep meditation or engaged in other forms of intensive practice. Most of you aren’t going to be doing such long hours of intensive daily practice. Yet with the craziness of the world we’re living in, all the stresses we’re contending with on a daily basis, and our emotional responses to it all, we seriously need to be doing at least an hour of daily meditation—and possibly other forms of practice as well. Yes, it definitely involves a time commitment, but you’ll find yourself happier, healthier, living with greater clarity, and realizing more of your true potential.

Jumping from One Practice or Modality to Another

For many years now, I have been working as a conduit, allowing an extraordinarily powerful presence to work through me to facilitate healing within the bodies and minds of those I work with. On many levels, I love the work I do, especially with growth-oriented individuals who are willing to do whatever it takes to heal and grow. The greatest challenge I’ve faced in this work is that those truly growth-oriented individuals may be only one out of every ten people. While so many people say they want to heal, when it gets down to it, they’re often neither willing nor able to do what it takes to truly heal and grow. There are a number of reasons for that.

It was actually much easier for me to do my work back in the 1990s. People were far less distracted—far more present. They would come to me with a presenting issue or concern: anxiety, depression, digestive issues such as ulcerative colitis, or physical injuries like those sustained in automobile accidents. In many instances, the presenting issue would have been resolved, yet these individuals continued to work with me for years because they were making considerable progress in other areas of their lives.

That all began to change with the advances in digital technology. As smartphones, social media, and other digital content became more and more ubiquitous, people became increasingly distracted—their attention spans shortened. Instead of working with me for months or even years, it became more common for people to show up for one or a few sessions and then disappear.

And that’s really sad—because when people stop after only one or a few sessions, the trauma, emotional wounding, and physiological health issues that truly could heal often never do. They continue to live with it—sometimes for the rest of their lives. And they never gain the clarity or internal resources that would enable them to truly heal and realize their full potential.

To compensate for the attrition resulting from peoples ever shortening attention spans, conducting weekly classes in New York City…less aware of their emotions, physical bodies ..losing touch with the authentic core of their being.

I stopped doing classes at the height of the COVID pandemic. And even though the pandemic is fading into the rearview mirror, it's still much harder to get people to show up for live events—hence, I’ve been doing more work online to reach people.

Our devices and digital media have been deliberately designed to be highly addictive, firing off our brain's dopamine reward system and altering the biochemical makeup and neurostructure of our brains. At the same time, many of us are already operating in a state of sensory overload. The sheer volume of digital media we consume on a daily basis overwhelms our processing capacity—especially since so much of it is designed to be overstimulating, just to keep us engaged and entertained.

As our attention gets pulled deeper into our devices and endless feeds, the internal processes that are crucial to our well-being become compromised. We're also becoming increasingly disconnected from our authentic core. And while it may seem like we’re more connected to more people than ever before, much of that connection is superficial—making it harder to be truly present with ourselves, or with anyone else for that matter.

That’s why it’s so important to be especially mindful—not just of how much digital media we’re consuming, but also of the kind of content we’re allowing into our awareness every single day.

Addicted to the Scroll, Starving for Depth

Short-form video began gaining traction with TikTok, and soon after, Instagram and Facebook Reels, followed by YouTube Shorts. Now that so many people are consuming this kind of fast, bite-sized content, it’s become increasingly difficult to get anyone to engage with longer-form material. It’s eroding our attention spans, exacerbating our lack of patience, and having a negative impact on our cognitive, emotional, and spiritual development.

It’s also compromising our ability to be present with ourselves and to form and sustain healthy attachments with others. You can see it reflected in the way many people approach healing today—jumping from one practice or therapeutic modality to the next. Part of this comes from how we’ve been conditioned to expect instant gratification. When people don’t experience immediate, life-changing results, they tend to get bored, frustrated, lose interest—and quit before anything meaningful can happen.

But in all the ancient spiritual traditions I’m familiar with—whether it’s Buddhist monks, Indian yogis, sadhus, Taoist adepts, or those walking traditional Native American paths—it’s common to commit to a single system over the course of a lifetime. While they may gradually work their way into more complex and advanced practices, they remain rooted in the same essential disciplines. It’s through that consistency and deepening that true development occurs.

Staying the Path in a Distracted World

If you're truly committed to healing and growth, it’s critically important to face the issues concerning you head-on, to the best of your ability. Learn to work skillfully with your authentic emotions. Start by noticing what you feel in response to the challenges you're facing, the issues that arise, or the concerns that weigh on you. Center your awareness in the depths of these feelings and the sensations wherever they show up in your body, while breathing softly and deeply.

Take time to explore different practices and therapeutic interventions, and make consistent use of the ones you find most effective. And if there’s a spiritual path you genuinely resonate with, then walk it—fully.

Also, make a concerted effort to show up with greater presence—living life as fully as you can, and being yourself. What is it that you most want to do, to become? Where would you like to go in this world? And at the same time, make space for the people who matter most—your friends, your family, your partner—and also for the people you encounter along the way. Consider, too, the animals in this world—so many dogs, cats, and other beings in need of love and care. Maybe even take one into your home, if you’re able. Keep this thought in mind, and follow through with action: What can I be doing to make a difference in the lives of others?

©Copyright 2025 Ben Oofana. All Rights Reserved.

If this article resonates with you—if you’re ready to stop circling around your pain and actually move through it—I invite you to reach out. Whether you're dealing with physical issues, emotional pain, or just feeling disconnected from your true self, I offer one-on-one sessions to help you go deep and do the real work. Call me at (332) 333-5155 or click here to get in touch and schedule a session.

Let’s move beyond quick fixes—and into real transformation.