This article is really about digesting our lived experiences, emotional responses, and reconnecting to our authentic core, but that's kind of long for a title. The vast majority of people have never learned to work effectively with their emotions. As a result, they’re not thoroughly processing their lived experiences or their subsequent cognitive and emotional responses. Most people do not engage in any form of meditation practice, and if they do, it’s usually for only fifteen or twenty minutes, done intermittently.

And yet all of us to some extent are dealing with the stress of work, conflicts with our intimate partner or other people in our lives, financial concerns, health issues, the pressures of raising children, maintaining relationships, managing household responsibilities, and the pervasive uncertainty about the state of the nation, the world we're living in and where our lives are heading.

Emotions have substance to them. Walk into a room where someone is angry or upset, and without them saying a word, you feel it. The stresses and emotions that are not being processed remain trapped within our bodies indefinitely. They form a heavy, stagnant presence that saturates our body's organs, tissues, and cells, creating areas of chronic tension referred to as muscular body armor.

The massive amount of input flooding through our sensory channels from our use of distractive technologies—smartphones, social media—overwhelms our processing capacity. Consequently, our body-mind is on sensory overload, impeding our ability to digest our lived experiences and cognitive and emotional responses. These distractive technologies also repeatedly trigger our brain's dopamine reward cycle, conditioning us to continually seek the next reward. This makes it extraordinarily difficult for us to focus our attention for any significant length of time.

The undigested stresses, stagnant emotional residue, and the digital input we're ingesting continually accumulate within our bodies, creating a dulling effect. This accumulation weighs on us, making us less creative and resourceful, and impairs our ability to think clearly. As a result, we also lose touch with the authentic core of our being that resides deep within.

When I found myself reenacting the traumas and dysfunction of my childhood and adolescence in my adult romantic relationships, I had an instinctive sense that led me to breathe softly and deeply while fully immersing myself in the depths of the excruciatingly painful emotions that were at that time surfacing. Sometimes, I would breathe from the depths of all those painful emotions for hours on end. At some point, I could feel all that pain breaking open and coming out of my body in waves. As that happened, I began to feel these powerful emanations of warmth flowing from within.

I knew to breathe into the painful emotions that surfaced during those times when I was going through difficulty in a relationship or struggling with the lack of reciprocation or fears of abandonment. But there were also extended periods of time when I wasn't doing consistent daily practice. Looking back, I can see how I was stuck in a holding pattern that prevented me from healing, letting go, moving on and evolving. Even now, I still feel a sense of regret, realizing that it was one of my biggest mistakes. But I had no guidance at that time, no one to explain the importance of intensive daily practice. I had to figure all this out on my own, and that took quite a while.

During my late thirties, I traveled around the country training with a number of gifted hypnotists. Although I learned the valuable skills that allowed me to drop people into incredibly deep trance states and implant suggestions instructing their minds on how to process trauma, I was still carrying the pain of my own unhealed traumas. Because I wasn't processing these emotions, there were times during the vision quest—a traditional Native American healing practice that involves fasting alone in the mountains for four days and nights—when my body was so armored that I wasn't as receptive to the extraordinarily powerful forces intervening on my behalf.

My intuition led me to develop an entire system of meditation practices, and over time, I gradually became more consistent in my practice. For some months, I focused primarily on the feelings and sensations within my chest cavity where the heart and lungs reside, and then after a few months, I shifted my focus to my abdomen and, more specifically, within the intestines. Later on, I taught myself to dissolve the layers of emotional body armor, bringing my full awareness to the chronic tension I was holding in my neck, shoulders, middle, and upper back. If I was experiencing difficulty in a relationship, I would bring that individual to the forefront of my awareness and then breathe into any feelings or bodily sensations that arose so I could heal the heartache, let go of those unhealthy attachments and move on.

Having trained with a traditional Native American doctor (medicine man) from the Kiowa Indian Tribe, I work as a conduit, allowing an extraordinarily powerful presence to work through me to facilitate healing within the bodies and minds of those I work with. I started teaching these practices to everyone I work with and found people to have varying degrees of receptivity. Some would only do the practice while I was actually working with them, while others could at times be resistant because of their unwillingness to feel or go to the places within themselves where they felt vulnerable. Around twenty-five percent of people I work with are highly receptive, and work with these meditation practices consistently.

Those who do not practice, especially those who have spent much of their lives numbing or suppressing their emotions or who cannot feel their emotions due to their use of psychotropic medications, are less responsive. Their minds are more rigid, and they tend to be stuck in limiting patterns or dysfunction. Their bodies are more armored, holding onto a lot more stagnant emotions, and are therefore less malleable. Physical toxins, stagnation, and armoring continue to accumulate, worsening over time as people age. There are times when working with these individuals that I feel as though I’m working on a brick or a tree trunk.

Conversely, I find that the bodies of people who actually take the time to do these practices are far more receptive to healing. Having these individuals bring their awareness to their physical body, the issues concerning them, and their emotional responses facilitates a much deeper level of processing of their lived experiences and emotions. This makes their bodies and minds much more malleable, and for this reason, they progress at a much faster pace. Their deep emotional wounds and their bodies heal, and their lives are transformed.

When I initially introduce people to this practice, I usually have them bring to the forefront of their awareness whatever is causing distress or not working in their lives. In many instances, this is the reason people seek me out. Additionally, many have become so numbed to their emotions and disconnected from their bodies that it's hard for them to feel much of anything else.

As part of my ongoing healing and growth, I usually practice for about two hours a day. As soon as I close my eyes, I begin to tune into any stresses or concerns that come to my awareness, along with any feelings or sensations that arise in response. Feelings and bodily sensations may also arise independently of any specific stress or concern. Some of these feelings and sensations are quite pleasurable. I'll then start breathing softly and deeply while fully immersing my awareness in the middle of any feelings or bodily sensations that arise, following them as they progress.

Like most people, I have at times found it difficult to sit still and remain silent while focusing my attention on the feelings and sensations within my body. In these moments, my mind sometimes wanders, I feel scattered and restless, and I begin to open my eyes to check how much time has passed. I feel it has become more of a challenge for many of us due to our use of smartphones, social media, and other distractive technologies, as well as the increasing demands of our current age. We always have a sense that we either need to be doing something or ingesting some form of digital content, whether it be our newsfeeds, reels, Netflix, or anything else. Many of us have become so caught up in this compulsive addictive cycle that we've lost the ability to just be present with ourselves.

Growing increasingly frustrated with my restlessness and distractedness, I began to experiment and found a way to deepen my practice. I started by fully opening myself to the feelings of resistance. I also say to myself internally, “keep opening, softening, and relaxing ever deeper into any feeling or sensation that arises.” As I set the intention, I can feel myself softening and descending to greater depths. As I reach these deeper levels, there are times when it feels incredibly blissful, and I can feel much deeper levels of processing taking place. Time also seems to pass more quickly—I may not open my eyes to check the time for ninety minutes or over two hours.

Sitting on a cushion or in the lotus posture on the ground works for some, especially if you have the right pelvic tilt. However, many people are not consistent with their meditation practice or don't meditate at all because of the discomfort of sitting on the floor and not having back support. What works best for me and many others I've taught these practices to is sitting in a comfortable chair where you're reasonably upright. I intentionally seek out the most comfortable chairs for this purpose because when I'm not distracted by the discomfort of sitting on the ground or having to sit up with no back support, I'm able to reach much greater depths and practice for much longer periods of time.

To do this practice, start by acknowledging what's happening in your life. What issues or concerns come to your awareness? Or is it a person you're interacting with that is evoking an emotional response? Next, notice what you're feeling in response to these issues, concerns, situations, or interactions. Where are these feelings and sensations located within your body? Breathe softly and deeply as you fully immerse your awareness in the depths of these feelings and bodily sensations. Continue to follow these feelings as they go through their progression. As I described earlier, breathe into any resistance you may be experiencing, and to the best of your ability, feel yourself continually softening, relaxing, and descending ever deeper into any feelings or sensations that arise.

How you breathe is also critically important. Most people breathe shallowly, high in their chest. The stresses and emotions will remain trapped within your body when you're breathing shallowly. It's important for you to inhale and exhale as slowly and deeply as you can, breathing all the way down to your abdomen while also expanding your rib cage. This will engage your body and mind's innate healing intelligence.

Making time for daily practice is crucial. If you're not able to still your body and remain in silence while breathing into the feelings and bodily sensations, especially those that arise in response to the issues, concerns, or challenges you're facing, you won't be able to digest your lived experiences and subsequent cognitive and emotional responses. Consequently, all that stress and undigested emotional residue will continue to accumulate within your body. They have an adverse effect on your mental and emotional states and your ability to function, and if not already, will in time negatively impact your physical health.

Working with the series of meditation practices I developed is a critically important aspect of healing. These practices can be incorporated with many healing modalities to facilitate the healing of traumas from your childhood and adolescence, as well as those that occurred later in life. It will also help you diffuse and digest the stresses and emotional challenges you face in your present-day life. It engages your mind's creative problem-solving capabilities, offering you workable solutions to conflicts that arise and the issues concerning you. You'll be better able to adapt to life's ever-changing circumstances and gain access to the resources needed to meet the challenges you're facing. By dissolving and digesting the stresses and emotions that would otherwise accumulate, you'll be able to access and deepen your connection with the authentic core residing deep within. Rather than stagnating or remain stuck, you'll be continually growing and evolving.

Feeling heartbroken? Overwhelmed with sadness and grief? If you're ready to heal, let go, move on, and attract love into your life, schedule your free twenty-minute heart mending strategy session now. This initial session is not the actual healing process, but a valuable opportunity for you to share your individual concerns and challenges. Together, we'll devise a path forward, exploring workable solutions for you to implement on your healing journey. Click here to schedule your free heart mending strategy session.

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When you’re ready, I have 3 ways I can help you to heal your heartache and attract more love into your life and cocreate more meaningful and deeply fulfilling relationships.
1. Click here to grab your free copy of my eBook – The Essentials Of Getting Over Your Breakup And Moving On
2. Watch the master class Three Reasons Your Relationships Are Not Working …And What You Can Do About It.
3. Work with me individually: Are you experiencing chronic health issues that no one has been able to help you with? Are you dealing with persistent emotions that are taking you out of the game of life? Are you in the midst of a breakup, struggling with patterns of abandonment or unrequited love, or facing challenges in your current relationship? Ready to break through existing limitations and unearth the inner resources you need to overcome challenges and realize your true potential? If any of these resonate with you and you're seeking personalized guidance and support, and would like to work directly with me, email me at ben@benoofana.com. For a faster response, call me at (332) 333-5155.