Breathing with my awareness centered within my heart and lungs opened a whole new universe for me. I could feel the deep emotional wounds healing as the old memories and feelings held within this part of my body for years began to pour out of the middle of my chest. The space within my chest began to feel like a vast ocean as I continued to work with this practice. I realized I had tapped into something very powerful, but I assumed that there had to be more.

Late one evening while driving from Santa Fe back to Albuquerque, I began to wonder what would happen if I were to shift my awareness further down into my abdomen. Like most people, I possessed a very limited awareness of this part of my body, and I couldn’t really feel much of any sensations in the beginning. But I did notice that my intestines were feeling a little congested and that I was also holding a lot of tension.

It took months of practice to really open my heart and I assumed it would also take time to experience any significant changes within my abdomen. I began to work consistently with the practice of breathing with my awareness focused within the middle of my abdomen over the next few months. I would usually practice for an hour to ninety minutes in the late evenings before I went to bed. On other nights I practiced with my eyes open during my late night drives from Santa Fe back to Albuquerque.

The feelings and sensations I experienced within my abdomen became progressively stronger over the following weeks. I started to notice all kinds of vivid sensations such as rumbling, churning and other digestive activity. Working with this practice helped to stimulate my digestion and I could tell I was processing my food better. The congestion I held within my intestines began to dissipate, and I felt my body cleansing itself by eliminating both physical toxins and the stagnant residue of the unprocessed emotions that had long been held within my body. As I continued with my nightly practice, my whole abdominal region began to feel more vital and alive.

As I began to develop this series of meditation practices, I didn't know what to expect, but I went into it with a sense of openness and exploration and a willingness to go wherever the process took me. The feelings and sensations gradually changed as I continued to focus my awareness within the depths of my abdomen. I began to experience a vivid range sensations such as pulsing, tingling and warmth. I kept following the feelings and sensations as they went through their progression.

Accumulated Emotional Residue

Our lived experiences along with our subsequent cognitive and emotional responses need to be thoroughly digested and assimilated. Whatever we fail to digest accumulates within the body, forming a heavy congestive residue that saturates the organs and tissues. Much of this residue accumulates while purifying within the abdominal-pelvic basin where it remains indefinitely. This stagnant residue impairs the functions of the body's organs and systems. Physical toxins are more likely to accumulate within our digestive tract when our bodies are holding a great deal of stagnant emotional residue. The combination of stagnant emotional residue and physical toxin causes the abdomen to become very dense and congested, making it considerably more difficult for the life force to flow within this part of our bodies. As this happens, we're more likely to suffer from bloating, constipation, or other digestive issues.

The combination of physical, energetic, and emotional toxins has a numbing or deadening effect on our body-mind consciousness. Our intellectual and emotional range diminishes, our senses are dulled, and we begin to feel heavy and sluggish. We lose touch with our passions, and over time, they may die within us, leading to greater complacency.

Breathing softly and deeply while fully immersing our awareness within the feelings and sensations, as I'm describing, awakens the innate healing intelligence residing within the body-mind. This healing intelligence helps us digest accumulated stress and emotions and cleanse our bodies of toxicity. Our bodies and minds can then begin to heal themselves. Digestion and elimination will often improve, the density many people experience in their abdomen will soften and dissolve, and bloating and other symptoms of gastrointestinal distress will subside.

Waves of Anxiety

I've been teaching this practice to people I work with individually and in group settings for many years now. Some people are initially resistant to exploring this area, saying it feels dark, scary, like a toxic waste dump, or that it doesn't really feel like a part of their body. In some instances, they have expressed hatred and disgust for this part of their body.

The feelings and sensations that emerged from my abdomen kept changing as the subsequent layers of issues and emotions made their way to the surface. I could feel the layers of fear and tension and at times, sharp shooting pains or a dull ache, and my abdomen would sometimes become distended.

I could feel a very thick, dark emotional residue, comprised of old stagnant emotions and memories that had sat putrefying within my body for years, emerging as I continued to breathe while immersing my awareness within the intestines. Memories and emotions pertaining to past events would often surface, along with feelings that were not attached to any specific issue or event. At other times, I experienced waves of anxiety and other unsettling feelings, which left me feeling raw and emotionally vulnerable.

I would occasionally take a break for a day or two from focusing on the abdominal region if the feelings emerging became too intense or if my body was having too strong of a physical reaction. During these times, I would bring my awareness back up to my heart or spend more time doing walking meditation. Knowing that my body-mind was going through a cleansing process, purging itself of a lifetime of accumulated trauma and emotional residue, I wanted to do everything I could to encourage the process.

The emotions that surfaced were very uncomfortable at times, but the discomfort would usually subside within a day, if not sooner. As my “processing capacity” increased, I found it much easier to work through the issues and emotions as they surfaced. The parts of me that were holding onto past trauma, reenacting dysfunctional patterns, and hurting were healing and evolving. I was seeing and feeling from a greater depth, feeling less encumbered, lighter, freer, with more momentum, greater clarity, purpose, and direction.

Connecting to the Earth

The emotions that surface when we bring our awareness to the abdomen can, at times, be uncomfortable, possibly unsettling. It's not surprising that many people avoid these feelings and disconnect from this part of their bodies. Yet, these stresses and emotions need to be brought to the surface and thoroughly digested. Otherwise, they will remain trapped within our bodies indefinitely and cause considerably more damage.

We can mitigate any intensity or unpleasantness we may be experiencing by finding a safe and quiet space outdoors—a park, city streets, a country road, or a trail in a natural setting. Stop for a moment to notice what you're feeling in your body. Walk at a gradual pace as you breathe softly and deeply, immersing your awareness in the depths of any feelings or bodily sensations that arise. Feel yourself becoming permeable, allowing any feelings or sensations to flow through you.

The Earth has its own electromagnetic field that helps purify any toxic or unpleasant energies, stresses, or emotions that surface. It will help you diffuse the intensity of any emotions that arise, making them more easily digestible. Walking meditation will also help you become more grounded. As your senses open up, the rocks, trees, rivers, and other aspects of nature will feel more alive.

Freeing Ourselves from Deeply Entrenched Patterns

Many of us have struggled to free ourselves from limiting patterns that have become so deeply entrenched over the course of our lives. For instance, we may fall into patterns of attracting romantic partners who are abusive or emotionally unavailable. We find it difficult to attract anyone at all. Or we may self-sabotage by setting ourselves up for repeated failures. Other common patterns include procrastination and avoidance, negative self-talk, people-pleasing, the fear of failure or success, perfectionism, isolation, addictive behaviors, overworking, and maintaining a victim mentality.

We often find ourselves encountering the same types of people, circumstances, and issues, which tend to evoke familiar, painful feelings. However, we have been conditioned to resist any kind of pain for so long that we reflexively push these feelings back down whenever they do surface. The emotions we resist feeling become frozen within us, reinforcing the holding patterns that prevent us from healing and evolving.

Many of us operate primarily from our conscious intellectual minds, having spent much of our lives disconnecting from our deeper emotional responses and physical bodies. This leaves us very disconnected from the underlying source of our issues. We compensate by intellectualizing our concerns—the issues we're struggling with—and we've done it for so long that it's all we know how to do. While there are times when talking can help us sort things out, intellect alone is not sufficient. We cannot think our way out of all of our issues.

Talking about our problems can easily become another way of attempting to control the unpleasant realities of our lives, avoiding or resisting the unsettling, distressing, and at times painful emotions that we're trying so hard not to feel. When we keep talking about what we feel is not working in our lives and how we're suffering, the narrative thickens, becoming more deeply entrenched. We find ourselves spinning around in our heads while simultaneously churning more of the same unpleasant emotions we can't process because we're so stuck in our heads. This further distances us from our authentic emotional responses and our physical bodies, making it harder to access the source of the problem, do the deep-level processing needed to bring about resolution, and come up with more adaptive responses and workable solutions.

In my twenties and into my thirties, I found myself reenacting the traumas of my childhood and adolescence. I attracted and was attracted to women who were disinterested, unavailable, horribly dysfunctional, and, in some instances, quite abusive. During those times, I felt powerless to effect any real change in this part of my life, so I kept talking about my problems to anyone who would listen. Talking about the situation invariably reinforced all the debilitatingly painful, conflicted, and crazy-making emotions that made it so difficult for me to function. It also prolonged my suffering by further solidifying the issues that were causing me so much pain.

The hurts held within my body, coupled with my own unmet needs, distorted my vision and created a powerfully destructive cycle of addiction. Driven by an unrelenting compulsion, I found myself blindly acting out, forming attachments to women who were not compatible with me. Yet, I couldn't see these women for who they truly were, nor could I let go of them or the relationships. As I learned to breathe into the feelings of loss, I found that it eased the pain while helping me let go, and yet I continued to reenact the same kinds of painful relational dynamics with other women.

Training in Xin Yi Quan and Baguazhang, internal martial arts that have their roots in Taoism, helped me to understand the importance of becoming deeply rooted in the abdomen. The lower abdomen is a critically important part of the foundation of our body-mind. Through intensive practice, it became abundantly clear to me that the underlying roots of many of our issues are to be found within the abdominal region.

There were times when I was hesitant to breathe with my awareness centered within the abdomen because it was bringing up so many unsettling feelings, but those feelings usually subsided by the next day. I soon realized I was onto something. As I began to practice more consistently, I noticed that the attachments I had been forming to women and relationships that were not good for me were dissolving. The heartache of wanting to be with a woman who, for whatever reason, was not reciprocating my feelings or was saying and doing hurtful things was abating. I was becoming more cognizant of my own unmet needs and was able to clearly see myself and the patterns I had been acting out. I no longer felt the need to be with these women, and the relational dramas I had been so caught up in were becoming more transparent.

As I continued to root more deeply into my body, I was also able to see these women for who they truly were, recognize their limitations, the issues they were struggling with, and feel how they were wounded. My feelings often changed. In many instances, I no longer felt any attachment. I felt much more content within myself, connections began to develop more effortlessly, and I started drawing healthier friends and companions into my life.

Rooting Into Our Bodies

Like so many others who have suffered as a result of trauma during the formative years, I shut down, disconnecting from my emotions and physical body. I lived in my head much of the time, which prevented me from grounding into my body and physical reality. I could be overly naive and trusting and was therefore more easily taken advantage of because I often took what people said at face value. I found it difficult to grasp how people could be so incongruent, saying one thing and then doing another.

Breathing with my awareness centered deep within the intestines dropped my focal point of reference from my head all the way down to my abdomen. I could feel my sensory range expanding, and I became much more cognizant of my emotional states, thought processes, and bodily sensations. As my sensory range continued to opened up, I experienced a heightened awareness of everyone and everything around me

As my feeling senses became more acute, I could feel where people were coming from, sensing the issues they were struggling with and the emotions they were holding in their bodies. In some instances, I could feel how their emotional wounding had prevented parts of themselves from maturing, limiting their capacity to truly love and function in other parts of their lives. The understandings I gained made me realize that other people’s actions had little to do with me, allowing me not to take their words and actions so personally.

Attracting someone into your life can be a lot more difficult when you're not inhabiting your body because it's not very attractive, and there's not much to draw another person to you. Any emotional wounding you're carrying can further complicate matters. Working with this practice facilitates the healing of the deep emotional wounds while enabling you to become more fully embodied. As that happens, you experience greater awareness of yourself, other people, and your surroundings. There's also a lot more of you present to love and be loved. You emanate more passion, warmth, and a visceral presence, making you more attractive to others.

From Shame to Acceptance: Freeing Ourselves from Sexual Repression

Those of us who grew up in fundamentalist religious environments, or if there was shame around sexuality in our family of origin, are more likely to internalize the repressive attitudes and beliefs. Even if we reject these beliefs and values, parts of us may still perceive our sexuality as sinful or something to be ashamed of. Internalized shame and concepts of sin can then cause us to disconnect from our feelings and physical bodies, leading us to shut down or repress our sexuality, and in some instances, becoming asexual.

I began to consciously reject the conservative Christian beliefs I grew up with in my late teens, and yet I was still holding onto many of these beliefs and the emotions attached to them within my body, many of which were operating outside of my conscious awareness. These attitudes were further reinforced by some of the prevalent views around male sexuality that left me feeling as though there was something wrong with me for desiring emotional and physical intimacy.

As I continued to breathe with my awareness centered in the abdomen and do Chi Gong practices to build power within the dan tien, I would often experience increasing sensations of warmth and vibration. The shameful feelings and attitudes I had internalized around sexuality began to surface. At times, this would also evoke intense sexual feelings and desire. Processing these feelings helped me become more accepting of my physical body and sexuality.

Disconnecting from our bodies and sexuality can make it much harder for us to attract a loving companion. These difficulties are often compounded by the trauma many of us are holding within our bodies. That all began to change for me as the deep emotional wounds healed. As I became more embodied and more comfortable with and accepting of myself, I began to exude a healthy physicality and presence that made me naturally more attractive.

Creativity and Insight

When I'm in the flow, writing comes effortlessly, but there are also times when it feels as if my brain is freezing up and then I find it difficult to articulate my thoughts. Sometimes I have to just set the writing down for a while and go do other things.

I remember feeling really frustrated one evening when my writing wasn’t flowing. I shut down the computer and turned the lights off and began to breathe into the sensations I was feeling within the middle of my intestines. While my attention was focused on the physical sensations, the words that I was struggling so hard to access began to flow like a stream from within. As I laid down to go to sleep that night, I could feel and hear entire paragraphs flowing through me. I kept getting up to turn on the light so I could write down all the valuable insights before they evaporated. Since that time, I started keeping a pen and paper and a voice recorder by my side whenever I do the practice.

I can feel my brain slowing down and sometimes jamming up when I’m exhausted or under a lot of pressure. Breathing with my awareness centered on the feelings or sensations within my abdomen enhances brain function. I can feel the various parts of my body-mind being activated. As that happens, I experience a greater sense of cognitive and emotional agility. My mind is often flooded with creative thoughts and imagery, and I've gained lots of valuable insights.

My intuitive senses also became a lot stronger. I would often get a premonition that I would run into someone and then it would happen. Or I would keep getting an impression of someone and then the phone would ring, and that person would be on the other end of the line. At other times, I would feel events before they happened.

The Second Brain

The enteric nervous system (ENS) is often referred to as our second brain. Embedded within the lining of the gastrointestinal system, it comprises a vast network of complex neurocircuitry. This intricate system contains approximately one hundred million neurons, which is comparable to the number found in the spinal cord, allowing it to learn, remember, and perform autonomous functions independently of the central nervous system. The ENS utilizes the same neurotransmitters—dopamine, serotonin, acetylcholine, nitric oxide, and norepinephrine—that facilitate many of the complex functions within our brain, playing a critical role in regulating mood and cognitive functions.

Every organ within our body possesses its own form of intelligence or consciousness, contributing to the body's ability to function as a cohesive unit. By breathing with our awareness immersed in the abdomen, we can enhance the functions of the ENS while also activating the deeper instinctual aspects of our consciousness.

Gaining a Clear Sense of Purpose and Direction

Many people struggle to find a clear sense of purpose and direction. While we may have various interests, we often start something only to lose interest because we've lost touch with the internal guidance mechanism that helps us understand what we truly need to be doing. Additionally, suppressing our feelings can diminish the driving passion required to motivate ourselves to follow through.

Gaining a clear sense of our life’s purpose is not merely an intellectual process. Our purpose is revealed through an inner knowing and the passion that compels us to take meaningful action. We connect with this passion through our feelings and physical bodies. The traumas we've internalized, along with unprocessed emotions such as grief, sadness, anger, and frustration, remain trapped within the body indefinitely, often creating varying degrees of paralysis. Taking the necessary steps to facilitate the deep-level processing of our lived experiences and subsequent emotional responses ignites our passions, providing us with greater clarity and creating the momentum needed to propel us forward.

I have found that breathing into the feelings and sensations within the abdomen awakens a deeper instinctual knowing. I feel a growing sense of agitation if I'm wasting time. Conversely, I find myself drawn to certain people, places, and experiences aligned with my purpose and that facilitate growth. This practice intensifies my passions in a way that builds momentum, creating a greater sense of urgency along with a knowing that says, “I have to do this!” and a need to follow through with constructive action.

Empathy and Compassion

Our religions and spiritual traditions, as well as society, emphasize the importance of the heart, encouraging us to show love and compassion for others. While keeping an open heart is important, our capacity to give and receive love is very limited when we are not firmly rooted in our bodies.

As we become more fully present in our bodies, awakening the consciousness in the abdomen, we are able to bond with others on a much deeper level and experience greater empathy and compassion. This allows us to better understand the needs and considerations of others.

The Connection to Other Parts of Our Body

My understanding of Traditional Chinese Medicine is limited, but practitioners I've spoken with often emphasize how the various organs and systems interact with one another. The intestines are somehow connected to other parts of our bodies. What happens within the intestines affects all of our organs and systems. There are times while working with this practice that I feel the stresses held within the abdomen migrating to other parts of the body, such as my mid or upper back. As I continue to breathe with my awareness focused within the abdomen, I can, in many instances, feel the stresses releasing in these parts of my body. I sometimes use a foam roller afterward to help dislodge the stresses that accumulate in my back. Other people have told me how this practice helps to alleviate the tension in their jaw that causes them to grind their teeth as they sleep. People who suffer from heart disease, respiratory disorders, and other health-related issues have, on many occasions, indicated that they noticed improvements in their condition as they worked with this practice.

The Physical and Subtle Bodies

The subtle bodies, which are the non-physical aspects of a person's being often described in spiritual and esoteric traditions, interact with the physical body. The subtle bodies help to maintain the structural and functional integrity of the various organs, systems, and overall form of the body intact. In other words, they play an important role in keeping the physical shape and alignment of the organs and systems intact. They also have a profound influence on the physiological processes, ensuring that organs and systems work correctly.

The subtle bodies reflect what's happening in both our mind and physical body by mirroring or corresponding to the states and conditions of our mental and physical health. The life force in our body becomes very stagnant as stresses, suppressed emotions, and physical toxins accumulate, which has adverse effects on both the subtle and physical bodies.

There have been numerous instances over the years when I have worked with individuals suffering from life-threatening illnesses. Not only could I recognize the specific health concerns, but I could also see that the navel chakra and the layers of the aura were breaking down. There wasn't much presence in the abdominal region; it felt like there wasn't much holding them in their bodies or anchoring them to life in this world.

Having trained with a traditional Native American doctor (medicine man) I work as a conduit, allowing other forces or beings to work through me. The presence working through me during the individual sessions facilitates the healing of the physical body's organs and systems, while also rebuilding the infrastructure needed to firmly root the person in their body.

Subtle is Significant

People I've taught this practice to experience a wide range of feelings and bodily sensations, while others don't feel much of anything. Some will initially experience very subtle feelings or sensations such as dullness, heaviness, or a slight sense of warmth. This is to be expected, considering that many of us have spent much of our lives numbing ourselves to our emotions and lack awareness of this part of our bodies.

Those who are not experiencing vivid feelings and sensations as I guide them through this practice or while attempting to practice on their own will, in many instances, mistakenly assume that nothing is happening. Yet, breathing into the vague sensations such as inertia, flatness, or heaviness is still very effective, as it helps to awaken the innate healing intelligence and increase awareness within this part of the body. Many people don't feel much initially, but with continued practice, body-mind awareness will increase and the sensations will become increasingly more vivid.

Reconnecting with Your Core

People often tell me that they find it difficult to hold their awareness in this part of their bodies, which is not at all surprising since we've spent the vast majority of our lives disconnected from it. Our minds do wander, and it has become considerably more difficult to focus our attention for any significant length of time now that distractive technologies, smartphones, and social media are rewiring our brains to jump from one thing to another.

When you notice your mind has wandered, bring your awareness back to the feelings or sensations you were focused on or any new ones that arise, and breathe softly and deeply into whatever you're feeling. Consistent practice will help you to access and stay more deeply connected to this crucial part of yourself.

Reclaiming the Lost Parts of Ourselves

People often tell me that they feel very disconnected from the lower abdominal and pelvic regions of their body and that the emotions, energies, and imagery contained within feel so foreign. They find it difficult to be present in this part of their bodies because it feels so dark and scary. Focusing their awareness within the abdomen brings up all kinds of horrible feelings and memories, confronting them with issues they have long avoided.

Our abdomens often become the largest repository of all those unpleasant emotions and memories we haven't been able to process and, in some instances, have done everything we can to avoid or suppress. Going there can initially feel very foreign, uncomfortable, and scary. All this stress and emotion that accumulates within this part of our body literally putrefies, turning into our own toxic waste dump.

Breathing softly and deeply with our awareness immersed in the unpleasant feelings and sensations will enable us to bring the light of consciousness back into the parts of our bodies and minds from which we have disconnected. The dark and menacing quality will gradually be replaced by warm and comforting feelings as we heal, transform, and reintegrate these parts of ourselves. Our bodies and minds will then become a place of refuge where we return to find strength and nourishment.

Deep Cleansing the Mind and Body

Living in this modern-day world demands so much of us—our jobs, families, and all the responsibilities that come with them. Smartphones, social media, and the 24/7 news cycle further overwhelm our processing capacity, leaving us on sensory overload. Our body-mind holds onto all the undigested sensory impressions of our lived experiences, the stresses that go along with them, and our emotional responses. Whatever we fail to digest remains trapped within our bodies, taking up an enormous amount of bandwidth.

Many of us, when we first start breathing with our awareness centered within the abdomen, will experience a flood of vivid imagery and emotions. Stressful situations that are currently impacting us, past traumas, and the issues and concerns that need to be addressed will be making their way to the forefront of our awareness. These issues, concerns and impressions are surfacing because they need to be dealt with.

At times, I'm able go into such profoundly deep states while practicing that I experience all kinds of vivid imagery and dream-like scenarios. At night, when I sleep, my dreams are much more vivid and sometimes have a very thick and garbled quality to them. I often feel as if my abdominal region and brain are purging themselves of years of accumulated clutter. As I continue to work with this practice, I can still feel my sensory range opening up and my perceptions becoming sharper.

Exercise: Awakening the Instinctual Mind

Start by sitting in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and begin to focus your attention on the area behind your navel, in the middle of your intestines. Allow yourself to notice any physical or energetic sensations, such as the texture or tone of the intestines, or any emotions or even subtle feelings you are experiencing within this part of your body. It’s normal to experience a wide range of feelings and sensations within the intestines, such as warmth, coolness, dryness, or moistness. In some instances, the intestines can feel very heavy, congested, deadened, or inert, especially if they're holding a lot of stagnant emotional residue and physical toxin. A healthy digestive tract is more likely to feel vital and responsive, and you will usually experience more sensations of warmth and aliveness as you continue to work with this practice.

Breathe softly and deeply as you fully immerse your awareness within the depths of any feelings and sensations you're experiencing within your abdomen. Feelings and sensations will usually change as you continue to breathe into them, sometimes intensifying, then softening and becoming more diffuse. You may be feeling something, and then other sets of feelings and sensations will come into your awareness. Follow the feelings and sensations as they go through their progression.

All kinds of feelings, sensations, memories, and imagery may surface as you continue to breathe with your awareness centered in the depths of your abdomen. You may also experience sensations in other parts of your body. At times, you may begin to experience vivid dream-like scenarios. Your mind will wander, and you may find yourself thinking about what’s happening at work, what you want for dinner, or any number of other things. Notice when your mind does wander, and then refocus your attention on the feelings and sensations currently in your abdomen. It’s okay to take note of the thought processes or the images that are emerging but do your best to keep your awareness focused on the feelings and sensations you are experiencing within your abdomen.

Making Time for Daily Practice

Distractive technologies like our smartphones, other devices, and social media are having a disastrous impact on our attention spans, making it extraordinarily difficult for many of us to focus. I understand that it can challenging for many to even focus your attention for fifteen minutes. I encourage you to extend your practice to thirty minutes, an hour, or even more. Not much is going to happen if you only do this practice a time or two. Committing to a month, two, three, six, or more will produce far more powerful results. Think of it as an experiment, an adventure, and keep yourself open to exploring the possibilities, going wherever the journey takes you.

I teach the Instinctual Mind Meditation by phone and in-person. Reach out to me through my contact form or call my Google Voice number at (332) 333-5155 to leave a voice mail and I'll get in touch with you shortly to schedule an individual session.

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